March 02, 2010

Procrastinator's Recipe for a Great Project Paper

I'm currently at step 6, and so was born this post.

1. Remove one great idea from brain. Put aside for several weeks.
2. Try really hard to remember what that great idea was. Decide on a different mediocre idea instead and write it down this time.
3. Let the idea simmer until one week before the project is due. Victory will taste sweeter this way.
4. Start preparing project paper. Don't research anything, it just slows you down. Stream of consciousness is most effective. Continue until you run out of thoughts, or approximately 500 words into the paper.
5. Ctrl+A, Delete. Repeat Step 4, that introduction page sucked anyways.
6. Mix 1 part great idea with 9 parts alcohol. Maintain the Balmer Peak for 72 hours and write 30 pages of really awesome sounding techno-babble.
7. Suddenly remember that great idea when you sober up. Repeat step 5 & 6.
8. Remove project paper from hard drive. Serve to reviewers at room temperature and really hope that none of them actually knows what "deep packet inspection" means.
9. Celebrate your success by repeating step 6. Great idea is optional at this point.

That's it. Good luck out there, WGU grads!

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